My World

No pictures. Just sentences.

Friday, August 22, 2014

ice, ice baby!

This summer has experienced an unusual ice storm that has gone viral. Unless you are the bag lady who's been staying down the street, you've probably heard of the ALS ice bucket challenge. There have been various takes on the movement, and of course, some naysayers. This disease is AKA Lou Gehrig's disease, although he wasn't the first to acquire it, nor was he the one to discover it. This is horrible. It takes functioning, productive members of society and reduces them to something painful to watch.

This condition is a thief who has robbed us of actors, dreamers, locals, athletes and many, many more It doesn't care if you're gay, straight, black, white, famous, or just getting by. If only we as a society could be this non-discriminating.

I've learned in my life that there is always someone who will be critical of even the best of intentions. Everyone's a critic! Maybe their parents ingrained in them to not play in the water for whatever reason. That's their problem and they will have to deal with it. However, there are a lot of people around the world who are having a blast with the challenge, being able to act like a child (there are never enough moments for us to do that), and I say don't spoil their fun.

Another complaint is "where does the money go?" In addition to research, people with ALS have needs that you and I can't imagine. Everything in your body has failed but your brain, but your body still has needs. Caregivers have needs. Insurance doesn't cover many of the daily living needs. If you have a moral problem with the source of the stem cells used in research, find a group that provides other needs and support them. Again, don't spoil the fun of the challenge.

In the meantime, (I will have to wait for payday, but something is coming from me too besides words).

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

My world, my thoughts

With the death of Robin Williams yesterday (I'm still stunned over that one), it's brought up some recurring themes. Is suicide a selfish act? Is it a mortal sin? I say no to both, and I will explain why.

In order to commit sin, you have to have awareness and accountability. I believe you need the same in order to be selfish (more than the two year old's "mine!").

If you are truly aware and accountable, then yes to the above questions. However, mental illness is a tricky thing, a little thief. It robs you of your awareness and also many times your accountability. If you are not accountable at the time you do something, it's not a sin.

I'm grateful that I'm not the one who gets to determine that. That's God's job.

I feel that is why we can be sad, hurt, ache, but never speculate where someone was when they committed that fatal act.

Saturday, August 09, 2014

Mocked by a children's song

For some strange reason, this time of year, I get an odd type of depression. It's not really depression like I usually deal with. It's more the "another year and what do you have to show for it" type of depression that I get before my birthday.

This week, there were some odd things happening. The anniversary of my grandmother's death, the anniversary of a much loved cousin's birth, work drama, friends making changes, missed connections, etc. By the end of this week, I felt very alone.

That's where the children's song comes in. The very last line of the Farmer in the Dell is "The cheese stands alone."

I've had a few times in my life where I've felt like this and it never fails, those words pop into my head so smugly. It's like it says "I told you so, hi ho the merry o" and it makes me want to scream, yell, cry, something to get it to shut up and stop mocking me.

Usually I don't. I just go to bed and hope the next day turns out better.

I'm really not a danger to anyone, except maybe the person who came up with that stupid song.