Mocked by a children's song

For some strange reason, this time of year, I get an odd type of depression. It's not really depression like I usually deal with. It's more the "another year and what do you have to show for it" type of depression that I get before my birthday.

This week, there were some odd things happening. The anniversary of my grandmother's death, the anniversary of a much loved cousin's birth, work drama, friends making changes, missed connections, etc. By the end of this week, I felt very alone.

That's where the children's song comes in. The very last line of the Farmer in the Dell is "The cheese stands alone."

I've had a few times in my life where I've felt like this and it never fails, those words pop into my head so smugly. It's like it says "I told you so, hi ho the merry o" and it makes me want to scream, yell, cry, something to get it to shut up and stop mocking me.

Usually I don't. I just go to bed and hope the next day turns out better.

I'm really not a danger to anyone, except maybe the person who came up with that stupid song.