My World

No pictures. Just sentences.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

December 16

Eleven years ago today, my father left this life for the world to come.  Eleven years ago, it was on a Sunday.  I knew it would be a rough day, but how rough and what blessings came today I was not prepared for.

I had responsibilities at church today.  I am in charge of the music at church, which this year includes choir and the Christmas program that is going to be next Sunday.  I had to go.  I had missed a lot already because of my handbell commitments and I just couldn't miss another this close to the program.

I went.  I asked a special prayer that I could get through the day and do those things I needed.  I honestly felt fake leading happy Christmas music during the service and I did not want to be alone, so instead of sitting by myself when I was able to join the congregation, I sat by a friend and her children. 

I took care of some choir business during the second hour of church.

I attempted to go during the 3rd hour (women's meeting known as Relief Society).  The subject of the lesson was about staying faithful during trying times.  Naturally, the discussion went to Connecticut (how could it not after something so tragic).  I couldn't stay anymore and left.  I was in the foyer when some friends who left the lesson early as well came out and saw me.  One of them sat with me for a while.  I had my cry.  I really wish those could be scheduled out better so I could have done that at home or somewhere more private.

Eventually, her son came with his baby and since the baby was in a good mood, I got to hold him for a while.  I like it when I can have baby therapy or pet therapy as it really helps lift my mood.  As I was holding him, our meetings were starting to let out and I had another random blessing.  A little girl from the ward came up to the chair I was sitting in and put her arms around me and just as quickly went away to whatever children do after church.  I don't know this girl, but her sweet action almost made me cry again after I'd calmed down from earlier in the hour.

Choir practice also went quite well.  They sound great!  There were more present than I could imagine and I'm thrilled about that!  When I was in jr. high and high school, I really wanted to teach choir.  When I started the schooling, I found out that you had to be a better singer than I am and decided to study something else instead.  I'm not the best at what I do.  Heck, I don't even know when I'm singing vowels correctly.  However, something I feel I am good at is helping people to sing praises to the Lord and feel the Spirit when doing it.  And laughing.  Usually it's the men who sit in back who crack most of the jokes.  In my choirs they have competition.

Not every December 16th affects me like today did, just when they fall on Sundays. 

I'm glad that my relationship with my father in his last months was so good.  It made up for a lot.  I might not miss him so bad on days like this if it hadn't changed.


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