My World

No pictures. Just words...in sentences.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thankful?

Ten years ago, I was at my grandparents' house. Gpa was in a nursing home because of a serious stroke. Gma had Alzheimer's and we found that out the hard way. The original plan was to move them both around Christmastime. While I was there, my parents made the decision to speed up the move and get them back to California because it wasn't safe for Gma to live alone.

That was when my Gma almost ran me over with the car and it was the beginning of my immediate family "going away".

Two years ago Thanksgiving weekend was when I got the word that Mom was in the ICU with pneumonia and had a stroke. Five years ago, I had the last Thanksgiving I would have with both my parents, not knowing that my father would be dead less than a month later.
I'm not the kind of person who goes around looking for these things. In fact, I try to not look for these things, but they sneak up on me anyway.

A few months ago, I found out that I have PTSD. While I'm still trying to figure out what that means, I think it has a lot to do with why some of these days and weeks are so hard for me.

In spite of this, I do have something that I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that I still have a chance to live. It's a lot different than I'd ever imagined it to be, but I still have the chance to make my life worth something, to figure out who I am and what I want to be, and to just plain be.

1 Comments:

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