The Bargaining

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Marianne's been going through the loss of a dear friend and I'm still struggling with some of my losses over the past few years.

I guess this all started last week when she was asking about the stages of grief (as described by Kubler-Ross= denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance) and asked what bargaining was. The easiest answer is "if you let them live I'll do anything." But I think it's a bit more than that, especially since it comes so late in the process. I've noticed my thoughts going to a place where I keep asking, "did I do everything possible for this person?" or "Was there anything else I could or should have done?" I think that's a little bit of the bargaining as well, because you're doing a lot of questioning about what happened. By the time you enter this stage, enough time has passed that you can think a bit more clearly about the events without being so caught up in the emotions.

I think that once I realize that yes I did do everything possible and there wasn't anything else I could or should have done, I will arrive at the next step.