My World

No pictures. Just sentences.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Do the Math

I had an opportunity to hear a presentation given by Joyce and Dennis Ashton about grieving. In Joyce Ashton's message, one of the first things out of her mouth was that it can take 18-24 months or longer to find your "new normal."

I've been thinking a lot about these last 9 years. I'm an only child and an only grandchild on my mother's side. My grandparents lived well into their 80's and my parents both died a couple months after turning 70. My grandfather died in 1997. My grandmother in 1999. Dad died in 2001 and Mom died in 2004. When I do the math, using this 18-24 months or longer system, perhaps I will have found a new normal by 2008.

Okay, so maybe it won't take that long, but when I did the math, I realized that everything I've been going through these last several years are part of my quest to find a new normal. I still don't think I'm there yet, but at least I know there's no more immediate family left to die. Okay, that sounds really strange, but I don't mean it in the weird way. I mean it in the way that states that my world has probably been rocked as much as it can be for now.

The Ashton's wrote a book on grief called "Jesus Wept."

It talks about grieving from an LDS perspective and explains that it's okay to grieve losses, because even Jesus wept when he heard that his friend Lazarus had died. I started reading the book after my dad died, but never got through it due to my having to drop everything to take care of my mother. The book is in a box somewhere and as I have resumed my unpacking since my move and I'm starting to put things in a place they belong, I'm sure I'll find the book again and will get back into reading it.


  • At 11:59 PM, Blogger Marianne said…

    Thank you for helping me get through those first days. I feel better now, a little. I don't know where I am in the grieving process but I have decided for now that Mike lives in the computer room. He messes with the computers every now and then, but I know he's just having fun.


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