Do the Math

I had an opportunity to hear a presentation given by Joyce and Dennis Ashton about grieving. In Joyce Ashton's message, one of the first things out of her mouth was that it can take 18-24 months or longer to find your "new normal."

I've been thinking a lot about these last 9 years. I'm an only child and an only grandchild on my mother's side. My grandparents lived well into their 80's and my parents both died a couple months after turning 70. My grandfather died in 1997. My grandmother in 1999. Dad died in 2001 and Mom died in 2004. When I do the math, using this 18-24 months or longer system, perhaps I will have found a new normal by 2008.

Okay, so maybe it won't take that long, but when I did the math, I realized that everything I've been going through these last several years are part of my quest to find a new normal. I still don't think I'm there yet, but at least I know there's no more immediate family left to die. Okay, that sounds really strange, but I don't mean it in the weird way. I mean it in the way that states that my world has probably been rocked as much as it can be for now.

The Ashton's wrote a book on grief called "Jesus Wept." http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1555175627/qid=1151286983/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-8038213-5963816?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

It talks about grieving from an LDS perspective and explains that it's okay to grieve losses, because even Jesus wept when he heard that his friend Lazarus had died. I started reading the book after my dad died, but never got through it due to my having to drop everything to take care of my mother. The book is in a box somewhere and as I have resumed my unpacking since my move and I'm starting to put things in a place they belong, I'm sure I'll find the book again and will get back into reading it.