Timber!

There was a time in my family where it just wasn't Christmas unless the tree fell on me, or just fell.

Dad would set the tree on a board because the carpet was wobbly and then we'd decorate it. Since it was an artificial tree, there wasn't the weight on the bottom to keep it from tipping. Sometimes the cat would get into the tree, which didn't help things.

However, the usual scenario was that the official present passer outer (aka me) would eventually have to crawl under the tree to get that one or two presents in the back, up against the wall, reaching, reaching when all of a sudden the tree would tip over. It was okay, because I broke the tree's fall.

Fortunately during all this we didn't lose any of the ornaments it would have hurt to lose.